My former life...

I know I'm lucky, I have a rather fantastic support network around me, but I've learned, that realistically, it doesn't make the struggle of keeping two children alive any easier.  I remember that in the pit of a period of what I believe was post natal depression after my first, how I had longed for my career back, and there are times now when I catch myself daydreaming about the cut and thrust of my former life.  The truth is, no matter how wonderful the days are with my babies, I miss having something that is mine. I am jealous of my husband moving on with his career.  I know that is one of the worst things I could say as I am also desperately proud of him, but there is a part of me that wishes it was me.

As the big 3-0 looms this year, I find myself reflecting on the many years of education in preparation for a life that I will never have .  In the end, no matter what anyone says to you pre-children, mothers must make that choice.  Sure, there are those women who really do appear to juggle it all, but for me, it was a clear choice from the moment my first was born.  A seemingly simple choice between the career with the 80 hour week, the stress, the constant demands, the long days and sleepless nights (which I actually adored), doing the one job I had always wanted, and the other job.  The one that essentially requires the same and more from me but without the kudos, the bonus or the suit. The one that requires me to hold it together despite unrelenting tiredness, be forever covered in food, paint and bodily fluids and to seemingly endlessly be in a state of alertness, in case one, or more likely both, tries to dismember the other.  The one job that has you experiencing every spectrum of human emotion in a matter of a few minutes, or on some days, seconds, and probably the only job that is both terrifying and incredible all at the same time.   The one that no one really considers a job (unless they actually have their own) and the one that means that I will, for now at least, just be someone's mum.  I knew though, as soon as she clapped eyes on me after a long and bloody awful labour that I had to give her everything and I knew that meant a huge change to my plans. We were lucky to have that choice.

So for now at least, I juggle two jobs working for my mum and a company which, considering I have left 3 or 4 times and have changed my hours on a termly basis for the last 10 years, has amazingly stuck by me, and, for the most part at least, it works.  I have my babies with me everyday and neither has had to go to nursery or be with anyone except grandparents and us.  It's wonderful and inexplicably hard at the same time.  I am constantly stricken with mummy guilt, but I am finally realising that that is just part of the job description. 

So here we are, 3 years on and my oldest starts pre-school in September.  I could cry every second I think about it. I don't know where those 3 years have gone but I look at her and realise that every sleepless night, code brown, flooded bathroom and episode of Peppa and that every craft hung proudly on the wall, belly laugh and stress induced wrinkle has been worth so much more than a paycheck could ever have been.  So much more than all the kudos in the world. My beautiful girl is intelligent, witty and excited for the next chapter in her life and I couldn't be prouder to be "just" her mummy.

Farm Party Cake How Tos

If you've seen my other post, you'll see that I made pig and sheep cupcakes to tie into the cake theme as well as the main cake.  I think everyone assumes that you must have the best equipment to make cakes like this at home, well I use a wooden spoon and bowl..no fancy food  mixer in our house.  I sometimes use the hand mixer for a very quick blast to make sure all combined but generally speaking Tabatha is helping me so by hand is best.  These cakes are so simple, here are the recipes...

Pig Cupcakes

CAKE

6oz butter

6oz caster sugar

3 eggs

6oz self raising flour

ICING

5oz butter

10oz icing sugar

Pink or red food colouring

Tsp milk if required

DECORATION

Large pink marshmallows

Pink wafer biscuits

Raisins

Piping bag

1. Set oven to 180 degrees (fan)

1. Beat butter and sugar (never understood the "until creamy" bit, just beat them together for a couple of minutes if by hand, it should go slightly paler.  To be honest my best sponge tends to be the ones that were more rushed!

2. Add eggs and mix until combined-not very long and mixture will probably look a bit curdled/separated, don't panic!

3. Pour in flour and mix until just combined, this is where I tend to give it a very quick blast with the hand mixer.

4. Fill 12 cupcake cases about 1/2-2/3 full (this mixture should make 12 depending on the size of the cases)

5. Bake for approx 20 mins until tops look golden and skewer inserted comes out clean.  Remember not to open the oven door until close to end time as they will collapse.

6. Allow cakes to cool on rack.

7. Beat the butter until soft and manageable.

8. Add icing sugar and use wooden spoon to work in to butter.

9. Once combined, use the hand mixer to beat for at least 5 minutes.  The icing will get lighter the more you beat (you may need to add a teaspoon of milk if it doesn't combine properly and stays crumbly)

10. Add a couple of drops of pink or red food colouring until the icing is a piggy colour.

11. I use disposable piping bags, but works with either (you just may need a wide hole nozzle - technical term, to put inside of you are not using a disposable bag).  Fold the top back on itself about halfway down to the tip.

12.  Hold the bag with your hand inside the fold and fill the piping bag with the icing.  The fold will stop you getting covered in icing

13. Unfold the top of the bag and give it a jiggle to work the icing down to the tip and get rid of any air.

14. Twist the open end so that it firmly pushes the icing to the tip and you can hold onto the bag.

15. Cut the bottom of the piping bag so that a hold approx 1-1.5cmacross is made. Doesn't really matter too much.

16. Pipe into the centre of each cake giving it a big of a wiggly as you squeeze so that the cake is covered with icing (you could just cover with the icing by hand with a pallet knife and not bother with the piping bag)

17. Cut the link marshmallows in half across there middles so that they remain circular but not as fat/tall and place each half in the centre of each cake to make the pig nose.

18. Put two tiny specks of pink icing on the marshmallow to create the nostrils.

19. Cut two flecks of raisins to make the eyes and the wafers into tiny triangles for the ears.

Sheep Cupcakes

**Exactly the same ingredients for the cake and icing as above...follow instructions above

You will also require a bag of mini marshmallows-preferably all white but doesn't matter too much, I just hid the pink ones underneath as much as I could.

You will also need:

12 big marshmallows

Black food colouring

Modelling paste or fondant icing

1. Once the cakes are cooled, place the large marshmallows in a heatproof bowl and place on top of a saucepan of simmering water (or use a banmarie if you have one), stir until melted - it will be really sticky!

2. Use a knife to make a circular hole in the top of each cake and put a spoonful of the melted marshmallow into the hole

3. Mix the mini marshmallows-the majority of the bag, into the icing and spoon it onto the cakes.

4. Colour a small ball of fondant/modelling paste with the black food colouring and roll into small balls

5. Push down to flatten the balls into a head shape

6. Use two small flattened balls of white fondant/paste to make the base of the eyes and a tiny speck of black pressed onto the top for the eyeball.  Use a tiny amount of water on a brush to stick the pieces together.

7. Place the heads onto the sheep bodies and there you have it!

Farm Party Craft How To's...

These are crafts that any mum can easily set up in an evening for next to no money.  The two crafts were stained glass chickens and cotton wool sheep.  Both so simple but the chicken in particular looks great and is a nice thing for the kids to take away with them.

Cotton Wool Sheep

1. Find a sheep silhouette online and print off if you, like me, draw like your toddler.
2. Use a sharp pencil to draw around the sheep with the coloured piece of card behind it, this will imprint the outline.
3. Draw over the outline with a black marker but leave the legs - just the body and head.
4. Cut out some little rectangles from black card and use a chalk pen/tipex/white paint to colour a small section of each leg as the hoof
5. Set up the sheep for the kids with a bag of cotton wool balls, 4xlegs each, some goggly eyes  and some Prit Stick

Stained Glass Chicken

1. Find a simple chicken shape online and print off.
2. Trace onto card and cut out.
3. Use this template to trace the outline onto sticky back plastic/contact paper.  You need to make sure that you do one chicken facing each direction-I.e trace one side and then flip over template and trace again.  This is so that when you cut them out the two sticky sides of the pieces will stick together.
4. Blue tac one of the chickens, clear side down and peal off the paper from the sticky surface.  The sticky side will be face up.
5.  Have the children tear of small pieces of different coloured tissue paper and stick them onto the chicken covering the whole of the sticky surface.
6. Remove the paper from the sticky side of the other and place in on top of the tissue paper so that it is sandwiched between the plastic
7. Trim off any excess tissue paper from the edges

Animal Jigsaws

1. Find some animal outlines online (simple work best) and print off.  They need to be one to each A4 sheet
2. Place a piece of coloured card underneath the printed page and trace the outline with a sharp pencil.
3. Use a marker to draw around the outline created on the card
4. Cut the card into 4/6 jigsaw shaped pieces.

A "Big Barn Farm" Party

Barnaby's 1st Birthday party and I think I'm going to admit defeat when it comes to holding my kids' parties at the house...at least until we move.  Our garden is pretty tiny, and whilst that's ok with a few babies, it gets somewhat tricky with all the family, our growing little girl and her friends all being squeezed into an area the size of a postage stamp.  Our main issue is that we like to invite everyone! My husband has a lot of family that live near us and I know my parents, brother, sister-in-law and best friend enjoy coming...well enjoy may be the wrong word...let's face it, they don't have a choice! They are generally roped into sandwich making, table moving and drink making duty and I am hugely grateful for the extra pairs of hands! If it was just the kids coming to the parties, then I don't think our lack of space would be such an issue.  It's far easier (and cheaper) to decorate a small space but it's nice to include everyone and we like to have an excuse to get the family and friends together, so I guess from now on I'm going to have to figure out how to dress a bigger venue with the same budget...joy.

Anyway, back to the farm party and I think now might be the best time to admit that prep for this started a good 2 months before.  I know that seems crazy but I don't spend all day doing things for the party and it really needs to fit into pockets of time I get on odd evenings when the kids aren't poorly or teething, we aren't painting the living room, I'm not working or the husband isn't coming home from the pub, half cut telling me we've agreed to write the pub quiz! I would put something about my raving social life getting in the way  here, but who am I kidding?!)

As I mentioned, we held this party in our garden and put up the trusty party marquee as the weather was a bit iffy, it also gives a good backdrop and surfaces to decorate.

We borrowed some hay and straw bales from a family friend and they really helped to set the scene.

The piñata came from EBay and I filled it with streamers, farm animal printed balloons and animal masks which needed a bit of manhandling to fit in but luckily came out ok when it was pulled!

I made simple animal jigsaws by just tracing animal shapes onto card and cutting out basic jigsaw shapes, they weren't anything special but was a quick, free craft to entertain the kids as I hid them all over the garden and the kids seemed to enjoy racing around trying to find all of the pieces.

Sid the Scarecrow was made some weeks in advance over the course of a few evenings.  I ordered some cheap potato sacks from eBay and used a big upholstery needle and garden twine to stitch him together.  Tabatha helped me to pack him with straw and a few buttons and a charity shop straw hat finished him off. It was actually so simple and quick once I started it and mum gave me a hand finishing him off as I was drastically running out of time!  We mounted him on a wooden stake the night before so that he could be pushed into the grass and his head was held up (we just tied him to the wood with twine).

There were a couple of crafts for the kids to get involved with making sheep and "stained glass" chickens; I've posted a how to on a separate blog. Very simple and no messy painting.

When it comes to the food, I made very little as I have now learnt that holding the party after lunch means that no one expects to have their main meal at the party and you can definitely get away with just cake and nibbles! I learnt this the hard way, catering for the masses at my daughter's last do! So, aside from the main cake, I made marshmallow and vanilla cupcakes, some sarnis for the kids, crisps and raisins.  Recipes and how to on separate blog.

The main cake was started weeks before and I tackled each element separately.  The more you can do before, the better.  All of the animals were made from modelling paste over a few weeks and stored ready to be assembled the night before.  I just googled some pics and had a go at copying.  I also invested in a set of modelling "tools" for a couple of quid this time around (if I'm honest, I don't really know how to use them but some of them came in handy for making markings or sticking things together!) So really it's just the cakes that need baking and stacking the night before. Even that resulted in a near meltdown as the buttercream was too runny (never try a new recipe the night before!) and was seaping out of the side resulting in ripped fondant and a bloody mess.  A bit of emergency buttercream scooping and luckily a new piece of fondant and the cake was at least covered, even though it bulged at the back as the buttercream was squeezed out of the sides from the weight of the cakes...never mind, no one really noticed and I covered it up as much as I could with fencing!

I didn't have any of the unfortunate melting incidents with this one but am looking forward to that issue again when I start my daughter's cake shortly! Out come the fans and dehumidifiers!

Instead of party bags, I decided to get the walking balloons online and give those out instead.  I got a mixture of different farm animals and had them inflated in town-some odd looks when you're walking   8 balloon animals through the high street! The kids loved them and you can re inflate them.  Tabatha insisted on putting them all "to bed" at the end of the day.

Budget: well under £100 including all food, decorations, crafts and invitations.  Bear in mind, I don't have a stock of coloured card, glue, goggly eyes etc, so this stuff is one purchase for lots of crafts/parties.  

As always, thanks so much to my talented sister-in-law for some lovely shots of the party. 

A woodland themed party...the whole shebang

My daughter's 2nd birthday, and like I said my first real attempt at something with a bit more going on, although it was very loosely  speaking a woodland themed party.  Truth be told, I didn't really have a clue what made a good kids party and was still getting the hang of what looked good and how to get the impact when following a theme.  My littlest one was only 3 months old at the time and permanently attached to the breast so trying to do anything alone required military stealth and organisation.  Anyway, here is the breakdown of what I did and where I got things from which will hopefully give some ideas...

We were blessed with a gorgeously sunny day which was great; we'd only just moved into our house and what with that and a new baby, it was nice to keep everyone contained in the garden!

The clouds and rainbow were made with my daughter from lining paper and kiddy paint, so simple but looked really effective as the room has very pale blue walls.  For the rainbow, we roughly marked out the sections but to be honest, no one looks that closely (which was lucky) and the really crap bits were hidden behind the clouds. 

Usually I have a real aversion to balloons, but these were fab.  Ordered them online from "The pretty little party shop" which has some great bits and amazing balloons! I've put web link below-no I'm not getting paid by them! I took them into town to get blown up...why we didn't get a canister I've no idea as I lost one the second I left the shop...Saturday morning in the busy high street and I'm the idiot with 2 enormous balloons wafting around my head, bashing every passerby in the face whilst screaming "b****r!" at the sky and my lost balloon.  We also didn't think through the journey home.  I arrived back to my husband and kids waiting in the car.  Clearly there was no way we were all getting in the car with the 2 balloons, let alone 3! They were about 50cm across each.  I assume someone was smiling on us that day as a family member with a Land Rover was parked 3 cars back from us! One phone call and some fluttered eyelashes and we managed to blag a lift for the balloons! I literally haven't the vaguest idea how we'd have got them home again, even with a bit of a relay! Anyway, they looked great on Tabatha's house, but 3 would've been better! 

These cute little party bags cost next to nothing from Party Pieces and I think they were 50p each; I refuse to spend a fortune on party bags but wanted something that was a bit different.  The bits inside mainly came from Party Pieces and I stuck with the woodland theme; bug stickers, little book for the tiny ones, wriggly spiders, chocolate ladybirds etc.  The grass table runner also came from there. 

These are absolute God-sends for anyone entertaining, everyone can help themselves and you don't spend the entire time making drinks, and more importantly they don't drink your booze cupboard dry! Pimms and Elderflower spritzer; we'd managed to make the Elderflower cordial a week or so before (just cordial mixed with sparkling water) and it's always a hit.  Big jug of squash for the kids and some decorated (garden twine wrapped around the rim a few times and tied)  jam jars for adult glasses and you're sorted.  These can be picked up from EBay/Lakeland/TK Maxx etc but I'd definitely invest in the glass ones.

Instead of hiring a bouncy castle, which we simply don't have the space for, we bought a small one from Mothercare for £45 and it has been brilliant! Out all summer! 

So there it is; a very simple woodland garden party.

Links:

Party bags and contents: http://www.partypieces.co.uk/party-supplies/party-bag-and-fillers.html

Giant balloons: http://prettylittlepartyshop.co.uk/collections/giant-balloons